When Men and Mice Meet
by Scarlett Phoenix
Summary: A variety of Joes and Cobras decide to take a vacation. Chapter 2 has been added.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimers: I don't have or own any rights to either G. I. Joe or the Walt Disney World Company. No profits are made from this and all events are fictional. I just happen to love both Joe and WDW (their themeparks, toys, movies, etc.)! Please don't sue.

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**Meetings**

Several Joes stood in one of the many planning rooms located on their base. Among those present were Duke, Flint, Gung Ho, Ace, Road Block, Dusty, Cover Girl, Scarlett, and Lady Jaye. They were standing on top of a world map that was embedded in the floor. Papers of all shapes and sizes were scattered throughout the room - on top of the desks, taped to the walls, and on the floor. 

Gung Ho, who was standing on Cuba, looked down and asked, "I can see the Bahamian and Caribbean Islands from here, but where'd they move Port au Prince to?"

"It's in Haiti," replied Duke. As Gung Ho got on his hands and knees searching for the tiny country, Duke continued, "It's coordinates are 18:35:00N 72:20:00W." Still watching the evermore confused Gung Ho, Duke explained, "In layman's terms, it's the western part of the island it shares with the Dominican Republic."

"Why do you want to know where Port au Prince is at?" asked Ace, with a puzzling look on his face.

Still not able to locate the Haitian capital or the entire country for that matter, Gung Ho, without missing a beat, replied, "Cruise ships, pretty beaches, beautiful bikini-clad women, just some fun in the sun, man." Gung Ho ducked as the ladies threw a montage of papers and pens at him. "Well, anyone else got a better idea?"

Everyone began talking extremely loud so that they could be heard over the others. Most of them were waiving some short of brochure in the air. Flint, frustrated at the fact they were decades away from reaching a decision, said, "Duke, I warned you this was a bad idea, especially with this bunch of morons. We should have done this by the books. For crying out loud, GH can't even find his choice location on the map." 

In defense, Gung Ho yelled out, "It's not even on here! This dang map shows the entire island is the Dominican Republic!" Ace, Scarlett, and Lady Jaye gathered next to the rather confused Marine. 

"I've flown over it a billion times. It's right here," Ace said, pointing to a tiny island roughly 613 nautical miles from Miami Beach, Florida. The black-haired, pompous pilot, as well as the ladies, were shocked to find Gung Ho was right. Haiti was missing from their strategy planning map. 

"Since when is the DR it's own island?" Lady Jaye asked, puzzled at how an entire country could be missed. 

"Trying to recreated 'Around the World in Eighty Seconds', Red?" Ace asked Scarlett. The redheaded sergeant was down on her hands and knees crawling around the map, searching for something in specific. 

"Duke, move your foot out of the way," Scarlett demanded. "Someone get me a magnifying glass."

Cover Girl brought her a hand held magnifying glass kept in a drawer. "One of you guys standing around there doing nothing write this down." Scarlett read off the name, address, phone number, and website of the company who published the map. 

"Oh god. Duke, Flint, don't let her contact them. The poor employee who gets that call or email is going to need a huge raise and therapy," Gung Ho laughed, barely ducking in time to miss the magnifying glass Scarlett threw at him. "I want a travel bonus!"

Taking Flint's advise that was made before the whole map fiasco, Duke silently walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a locked fire-safe box. "Let's do this the official way," the blond CO said as he opened the box and pulled out a small piece of paper, a blindfold, and a dart. Reading the piece of paper, Duke said, "It's Dusty's turn."

Dusty was blindfolded, spun around three times, and handed the dart. Duke guided him to a small red mark on the floor. "Wait until I say 'go' before you throw that," he ordered. The others, having seen the darts fly just about everywhere at this yearly event, raced to find cover. Duke yelled out from inside a small closet, "Ok, fire." Nothing happened. "Why haven't you taken the shot yet?" Duke asked.

"You haven't said 'go' yet," Dusty replied matter-of-factly. 

"Go, already," Duke said as he rushed to get back in the closet.

Swoosh. The gang raced to the wall map to see where the dart landed. "Lake Buena Vista, Florida?" Flint shrugged his shoulders as he looked as Dusty.

"Don't ask me. I just threw the dart as ordered," Dusty said, also shrugging his shoulders.

Lady Jaye, Scarlett, and Cover Girl burst out singing, "M-I-C-K-E-Y... M-O-U-S-E." 

"Oh no. I'm am not spending all that money to go see a damn little mouse," Gung Ho grunted. 

"Come on, GH. Lighten up. It's the happiest place on earth and who knows, you might get lucky enough to hug Cinderella," Lady Jaye joked, putting one arm around his neck.

"Well folks, it looks like we're set. Disney World it is. Who's volunteering to make our reservations?" Duke paused for a moment, "Scratch that last request. Since GH has been so enthused at this whole shenanigan, he's been nominated to handle the travel arrangements."

"But..." 

"No buts. If I need to make that an order, I will," warned Duke, who was finding the whole idea of Gung Ho making Disney World reservations for a group of grown men and women, sans children, quite amusing.

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Meanwhile, back at Cobra Headquarters.

Somewhere deep underground, in a unknown location, Destro called a meeting of several of the organization's leaders. "While Cobra Commander and Serpentor waste their time battling each other for control of our company, I suggest we all take a well-deserved trip on company funds." 

Tomax began, "Money is..." 

"...no object," Xamot finished his twin's sentence. Their announcements were met with a load roar of cheers.

"That's a real annoying habit. Must we include those two?" asked the Baroness in disgust.

"My dear, don't turn away our biggest donors," Destro replied. "What is it?" he asked Zartan, who was jumping up and down, waving his hands in the air.

"I've always wanted to take my daughter to Disney World," Zartan exclaimed as Zanya jumped on her father's back. The Dreadnok's revved up their weapons in response. Zarana joined in the craziness that followed her brother's suggestion.

"Does anyone second the motion?" Destro asked, trying to bring some sort of diplomacy to the meeting.

"I will," Storm Shadow said with almost no inflection in his voice. Besides Destro, the man in white was the only other one present who was not acting like a child having just inhaled three huge bags of chocolate donuts and four cases of grape soda.

"All in favor, say 'aye'," Destro commanded. Then, in response to the noise, he warned, "Not so loud! Our undisclosed location will no longer be undisclosed if you yahoos don't quiet it down." Frustrated at the lack of obedience, he yelled, "For you simpletons, THAT MEANS SHUT UP!" 

After a couple of minutes of silence, Destro continued, "All opposed, say 'nay'. And keep it QUIET!"

The only response was a few complaints about how Destro could be noisy and they couldn't. Since no one was against the measure, Destro said, "The Aye's have it. And to answer your questions, I'll do as I please. With Cobra Commander and Serpentor busy, that makes me boss. Any questions?" 

Silently, Destro wondered to himself why no one objected to the location, after all a kid's place was not what he had in mind. "As usual, Extensive Enterprises will be handling the specifics of our trip. You will receive updates as we get them. Any repair costs will be deducted from your pay," Destro warned before dismissing the meeting.

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To be continued... 


	2. The Memo

Disclaimers: I don't have any rights to either G. I. Joe or the Walt Disney World Company. Please do not rely on this in place of Walt Disney World Company's official information. Places, policies, and procedures described in this and future chapters are works of fiction and are not accurate by any means. No profits are made! Please don't sue!

AN: I purposely delayed posting this chapter, hoping to have a second part written. Writer's block can be such a pain! I realize this is fairly short, but I have all intentions of making up for that next time.

~ Alison, Thank you very much for beta-reading this for me. ~ 

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Several members of COBRA came into work one Tuesday morning to find the following notice:

**Memorandum**

Date: April 13rd, 2004

To: All eligible COBRA employees.

From: Destro, acting CEO and President of COBRA, Inc.

Subject: Company Trip.

This is to update you on a few important developments concerning our first ever all-expense paid company trip. This historic event will occur July 2, 2004 through July 9, 2004 at the Walt Disney World Resort located in sunny Lake Buena Vista, Florida. 

Air transportation will be provided by our very own COBRA Airlines. There is a baggage limit of two checked items and one carry on bag. For the safety of your fellow teammates as well as yourselves, all items are subject to security searches and seizure.

We will be staying on the concierge floor at the luxurious Alta Vista Park Hotel. The hotel will provide all the necessary transportation. This means the there will be no need to disassemble and smuggle your jet bubbles, motorcycles, or whatever other mode of transportation you prefer.

Due to Homeland Securities issues, _everyone will_ subject themselves to all security screenings as required by the park authorities. Anyone who fails a security check will be disciplined appropriately. In addition, since most, if not all of us, are on some type of government watch list, you are required to come up with an alias that will be used for the duration of this trip and inform everyone of that alias. We do not want to become involved in any unpleasant situations.

There is a **mandatory** meeting at 1300 today in the cafeteria for all those planning to participate. We will go over the specifics during this meeting. 

_COBRA, Inc., its subsidiaries, and business partners can not and will not be held liable for any injuries, damages, losses, thefts, or deaths sustained during this trip. This memorandum will immediately become null and void should Cobra Commander and Serpentor reach an amicable agreement to their dispute._

On behalf of the leadership of this wonderful organization, thank you for your highly valued and continued dedication to COBRA. _COBRA!!_

Sincerely,

_Destro_

Destro and your friendly COBRA Management Team

_This communication is intended solely for those authorized to view it. If you are not the intended recipient of this notice, you have thus received this memorandum in error and are hereby instructed to notify and return the original to myself, Tomax, or Xamot immediately. Furthermore, you may not copy, print, or disclose any of its content in any way, shape, or form. This communication is the exclusive property of COBRA, Inc. and Extensive Enterprises._

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End file.
